I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
