just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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