Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
