idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
