Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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