I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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