she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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