Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
