its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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