So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
