youre lurking in front of me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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