Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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