just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
