where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
