i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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