Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
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