he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
tell me about the eggs
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
