i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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