So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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