i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
