If i come over, it means nothing
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
