Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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