You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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