Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
