everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
