A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
