I want to stick my p in your. b.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
