this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
