I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
