I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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