you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
