I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
