how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
