if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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