dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
