so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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