I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
