wat bout pragnant strippers??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
