There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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