Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
