See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
