i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
