In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
