if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
