every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
