And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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