Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
