Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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