Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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