try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
