you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize