You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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