When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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