My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
