I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
After last night, I could never be a politician.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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