matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
we're so committed to being not committed
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
