You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
