i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
