I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i think i just lost a toe
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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