We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
