The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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