how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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