I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
