Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
