Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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