i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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