drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize