HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
