Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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