I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
