Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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